Satyameva Jayate! (Truth Alone Triumps) These are the words inscribed in the Ashoka Pillar and there is a reason why it is sitting on an iron pillar as a relic of the past. Consider this:
On July 23, 2006, a new Tour de France leader emerges and c’est un Americain (encore!) (It is an American, again!) After the zillion years of Armstrong dominance, finally we have a respite in Landis…USA, USA, USA! He overcame the impossible – an 8-minute (which in Cycling terms would means ‘resurrection’, Jesus would be so proud!) deficit to take the Yellow Jersey. Inspiring stuff. Actually it was Shock-ing and Awe-some!
And in two weeks, the shock and awe campaign ended (reminiscent of the ‘Mission Accomplished’ plan). Landis’ victory was not clean and so inspiring after all. The temptation of the elixir of Olympic Medals, record-breaking homeruns proved too much for him and he succumbed. C’mon who can blame him for taking some juice when BigMac gets all the accolades for the Homeruns or when Marion Jones wins Olympic medals. Didn’t we all celebrate their achievements?
But let’s not despair. All is not lost. Help is on its way. Call 1-800-EXCUSES! For only a small amount of $$, we can provide you with a litany of excuses that will definitely shock your opponents. You can choose from any of the following options or even a combination for a deadly KO:
a) Cortisone injections you took for an injury (we’ll just ignore the evidence that it has no relation to testosterone)
b) I naturally produce those levels of testosterone (even though I shave my legs, I am a manly and athletic, you know)
c) The thyroid medicine I take for a condition (hmm…)
d) I drank beer instead of water (can we jazz that up a little?)
e) They leaked my name (am I not allowed my privacy to just dope anonymously?)
f) The test is all wrong (you can never trust these French labs, what with their socialist holiday-loving, absent-in-August schedules)
g) They (the French, the World) just hate the US and they are jealous!
Finally,
h) Dehydration (see, I lost so much energy on that day, I had to recover it, right?)
RIGHT!! A little prick did the trick….
1 comment:
thanks for writing on landis's 'victory'. was reminded of all the U.S. exceptionalism that goes on in that country and how they badly need to be shaken out of their complacency. can't wait for the final outcome... or has the guy got a clean chit?
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